Some days I think I’ve seen and imagined it all. Who didn't revel when computer screens came out in color instead of just green? I for one shouted hip-hip-hooray when I got my very own working cellphone and no longer had to find a payphone after getting a page. My cassette playing Walkman went straight into the donation pile when CD’s hit my life. But I just can't wrap my imagination around this newest trend I came across on the Internet today. Before you start thinking I’ve gone and lost it (which is partly true) I didn’t start this trend I’m a mere passenger on this less than stable train.
Earlier I was just minding my own beeswax ogling some cheesecake squares, a little dribble forming in the corner of my mouth, until I read the first sentence of the post and bam she just dropped it out there: her troubles with her menstrual cup. It takes quite a bit for food to not occupy my every thought, you know like planning a picnic at a mortuary, speaking of mortuaries did I ever mention the time Hot Dog Dude worked in one. Perhaps we better get back to that menstrual cup because it sounds urgent. How the heck does one drop a bombshell like that and just walk away from the topic like nothing?
Serious unanswered questions began forming, like what size exactly are these cups? Mini cups you use to rinse your mouth out at the dentist office, teacup sized (and my how a cup sounds good about now: not), or big-gulp size? If big-gulp is your preferred size; I'm so sorry, perhaps I should overnight you 20 pounds of chocolate and iron pills and perhaps you should see a medical professional sooner rather than later.
More concerning yet was just how do you attach this cup? I mean I had a few visuals, but I think staples would be a tad irritating, duct tape would be a two-fold solution because you’d get a free wax upon removal, but it’s probably not for the faint at heart. Perhaps a few rubber bands would keep that cup on there, but to get it tight enough it could cause a blood restriction problem in other areas. Then there is the problem of storage of these menstrual cups. Do you just throw them in the cupboard with your other cups and run and slap it out of a guests hand if they accidently pick it up to get some water? This is leading to way more questions than the universe has answers so I think we should all just walk away and not provoke the poor woman with menstrual problems (unless you are the sadistic sort who likes to poke beehives).
Maybe if we offer her some cookies instead the world will be a better place. As a matter of fact while you enjoy this cookie recipe I’m going to go toss all my cups in the dishwasher because they all feel tainted now.
Oatmeal, Apricot, Ginger, Chocolate Chip Cookies
1 cup unsalted butter (2 sticks), softened
1 ½ cups light brown sugar, packed
¼ cup granulated sugar
1 ¾ cups all-purpose flour
¾ teaspoon baking soda
¾ teaspoon baking powder
½ teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1 teaspoon ground ginger
2 large eggs
2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract
3 cups old-fashioned rolled oats
1 cup dried apricots, chopped into small pieces
1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips
8 ounces white chocolate
1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
2. Add the butter to a bowl of a mixer and mix on low speed until light and fluffy.
3. Add the brown sugar and white sugar to the bowl of the mixer and mix on low speed until combined.
4. To the bowl add the flour, baking soda, baking powder, salt, cinnamon, ginger, eggs, and vanilla and mix on low speed until combined.
5. Add the oats, apricots, and chocolate chips and mix on low speed until combined.
6. Line baking sheets with parchment paper or silicone mats and scoop large rounded tablespoon sized amounts of dough a few inches apart on the paper. Repeat. Should get about 4 dozen cookies depending on the size cookies you scoop.
7. Bake for 12-15 minutes until cookies are set and starting to brown a bit on the edges.
8. Let cool. When the cookies are completely cooled melt the white chocolate in a double boiler, place in a piping bag and drizzle over the tops.