Cauliflower Pizza and I'm probably coming back for yet another life...

I'm sure you've all heard about that little old thing where you have to keep being reincarnated until you get it right here on this earth.  Well I hummed along pretty smoothly for most of my years; I mean there was a little slip up here and there.  For the most part the faux pas were negligible and I figured there was that first 40-year free pass clause anyways.  Most of the details are still a blank and I haven't quite even begun to figure out exactly where things went sideways, but trust me friends this one was bad, really bad.  In the big scheme of things I shouldn't be too upset about it, because I have this sneaking suspicion that this isn't my first rodeo here on earth and what is another 90 years or so added to the sentence.

The worst plans are always hatched out of desperation, and desperate we were.  I shouldn't have gently persuaded (conned) my sister into going along with my evilly delicious plan.  It is practically not my fault that she has not yet learned that going along with my ridiculous ideas could spell trouble.  I'm not blaming her though; actually we've both decided that the blame should rest squarely on Hot Dog Dude. (Besides, he makes it way too easy.)

It started off on such a good note; I was all decked out in my vampire slayer outfit, clutching my dagger ready for any rogue vampires whom might cross my path.  Ready, willing, and able to defend innocence against the dark forces.  Seriously, do I look ready for business or what?

            

What happened next was so heinous I can't even tell you here.  Look I do have a reputation in the community to uphold and why in the heck wasn't someone keeping a closer eye on where that tiny little Doc McStuffins was leaving her hard earned candy loot.  I'm too embarrassed I just can't, well maybe I could if I wrote it into a fictional story and changed the names to protect peoples privacy a little, hmm.  

How about we just change the subject and focus on the important things in life, like the very important fact that Thanksgiving is right around the corner and I haven't even begun to explore what I'm making this year.  I'm going to also completely block out the fact that I signed up to run a 5K the morning of Thanksgiving and then will come home and cook for everyone.  Complete mental blockage, it's a gift; so I suppose I shall have to add that one to the gratitude column.

Quite sometime ago I ran across Cauliflower Pizza recipes and they looked quite tasty, a pizza without carbs, can't go wrong there.  It would be perfect, except I love carbs and I'm much too lazy to cook cauliflower and then arrange it into a fancy pizza shape.  So consider this recipe a gift friends.

Cauliflower Pizza (for the lazy)
1 head cauliflower, cut into florets
1 cup cherry tomatoes, halved
1/4 cup olive oil
1 clove minced garlic
3/4 teaspoon dried oregano
1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
1/4 teaspoon freshly ground pepper
1/4 cup grated Parmesan cheese

In a small bowl whisk together the olive oil, garlic, oregano, salt, and pepper and toss over the cauliflower and tomatoes.  Place on a baking sheet lined with parchment (because we've already established we are lazy and why on earth would we want extra cleanup chores).  Bake in a preheated 400 degree F oven for 10 minutes. Remove from the oven and sprinkle with the grated parmesan and return to the oven for an addition 5-10 minutes, depending on how soft you like your cauliflower.

Serve warm or cold.

Please don't tell me you thought I'd dropped of the face of the earth.  Didn't we already establish earlier, I have plenty of more years left remaining here; so I may as well entertain myself someway and torment the internet in the process.

Enjoy,

Gina

Sour Cream and Chive Cracker Recipe - A little Halloween fun

Trick-or-Treat, smell my feet, give me something good to eat!  Sorry, the immature Queen just couldn't help herself.

It's here, it's finally here, October my favorite month of the year.  Time to pull out the Halloween decorations and stop worrying about the cobwebs, they will blend in anyways.  I'm a little late this year; I usually have my decorations up and am working on my costume by now.  I'd fire myself; if I didn't work for free.

Who doesn't love all the little goblins and ghosts that will soon descend upon our doorsteps.  I know I do, and as much as the Queen enjoys hopping them up on candy and sending them home, she felt it was only practical that a non-sugary option be available.  Who wouldn't want to gobble up these cuties? 

Sour Cream and Chive Crackers

1 cup all-purpose flour

1 tsp. salt

1/2 tsp. freshly ground black pepper (optional)

1 cup shredded fontina cheese

4 tbsp. butter, cold, cut in 1/2" pieces

2 tbsp. chopped fresh chives

1/4 cup sour cream

Small amount of black sesame seeds

In the bowl of a food processor place flour, salt, pepper (optional if your little ghouls don't like any spice), and the cheese, pulse one or two times.  Add butter and pulse a couple more times until mixture is looking crumbly.  Add chives and sour cream and pulse until the mixture is starting to ball up.

Substitution:
I used fontina cheese, but Parmesan or white cheddar would also work well.

Place cracker dough in a covered bowl and refrigerate for 20 minutes.

Heat oven to 350 degrees F.

On a lightly floured surface roll dough to 1/4" thick and cut out with small ghost shaped cutter and place them 1/2" apart on a baking sheet lined with parchment or a silpat.  Place two black sesame seeds for eyes and one for the mouth.  I love mini cutter sets such as these, your local craft store is a good source too.

Bake 13-15 minutes.

Makes 36 crackers.

You guys didn't think I would trick you did you, only treats are to be found here.

Enjoy,

Gina

Spiced Chocolate Torte Wrapped in Chocolate Ribbons - Where the heck are the ribbons?

The December issue of Bon Appetit arrived at my house and on itscover was a picture of the prettiest cake I'd ever seen!  My first thought was, who in the hell would be crazy enough to make that!  My second thought was, I would!  What did I have to lose, besides 3 pounds of butter, 2 pounds of chocolate and more of my brunette hairs?

It's been quite the week so to throw this cake in on top of everything else, was that push I needed off a cliff.  I abandoned the ribbon bow after a good cry!  I decided to have a heart and go with a simpler design on top.

I'm headed to a ladies holiday party tonight and we are supposed to wear ugly Christmas sweaters. I gave all mine away out of shame years ago, and could you believe I couldn't find one around here to save my life.  I'm hoping by bringing this pretty cake tonight I won't hear any smack for not wearing an ugly sweater.  I'll have to give you the taste test results after we dig in, but I'm almost afraid to eat it since I know what went in it!

Cake:

1 1/2 cups (3 sticks) unsalted butter, room temperature

2 cups granulated sugar

8 large eggs, separated, room temperature

10 ozs. bittersweet or semisweet chocolate (do not exceed 61% cacao), melted, lukewarm

1 1/2 cups finely chopped pecans

2 tsp. vanilla extract

1 tsp. ground cinnamon

1 tsp. ground cloves

1 tsp. freshly grated nutmeg

1 1/3 cups unbleached all-purpose flour, sifted (measured, then sifted)

Pinch of salt

Pinch of cream of tartar

Position rack in center of oven and preheat to 350 degrees F.  Use three 9" cake pans.  Spray the bottom of each pan with no-stick spray and line bottom of each cake pan with parchment paper, then spray again with non-stick spray.

Using electric mixer, cream butter in large bowl.  Gradually beat in sugar until smooth.  Beat in egg yolks 1 at a time.  Blend in melted chocolate.  Slowly mix in pecans, vanilla, and spices. Gently fold in flour in 4 batches (batter will be very thick and dense).

Using an electric mixer fitted with clean dry beaters, beat egg whites with salt and cream of tartar until medium peaks form.  Gently fold 1/4 of the whites into batter to lighten, then fold in remaining whites.  Divide batter among prepared pans, spreading evenly.  Bake until toothpick inserted into center of cake comes out clean, 35 to 40 minutes.  (Mine only took about 25 minutes.)

Run knife around sides of each cake.  Let stand 10 minutes.  Invert cakes onto racks.  Cool to room temperature.

Buttercream:

3/4 cup granulated sugar

1/2 cup light corn syrup

4 large egg yolks

1 1/2 cups (3 sticks) unsalted butter, cut into small pieces, room temperature

6 ozs. bittersweet or semisweet chocolate (do not exceed 61% cacao), melted and cooled

1/4 cup dark rum

Stir sugar and corn syrup in heavy medium saucepan over medium heat until sugar dissolves. Increase heat and boil for 1 minute.

Meanwhile, using electric mixer, beat egg yolks in medium bowl until pale and thick.  Gradually beat in hot sugar syrup; continue beating until mixture is completely cool, about 5 minutes.  Beat in butter 1 piece at a time, incorporating each piece completely before adding next.  Blend in melted chocolate, then rum.

Reserve 1/2 cup buttercream.  Set cake layer, flat side up, on rack; spread with half of the remaining buttercream.  Top with second cake layer; spread with remaining buttercream.  Top with third layer; use reserved 1/2 cup buttercream to fill seam where cake layers meet.  Freeze cake until buttercream is firm, about 2 hours.

Glaze:

12 ozs. bittersweet or semisweet chocolate, chopped

3/4 cup (1 1/2 sticks) unsalted butter, cut into 12 pieces

2 tbsp. Honey

3/4 tsp. instant espresso powder

Stir all ingredients in top of double boiler over gently simmering water until mixture is smooth. Remove from over water.  Stir until glaze is thickened, about 5 minutes.
Pour 3/4 of glaze over top of cake.  Carefully tilt cake back and forth so glaze coats sides; smooth sides with spatula, adding some of remaining glaze where necessary.  Chill until glaze is set.

Chocolate ribbons:

7 ozs. high-quality white chocolate (such as Lindt or Perugina), chopped

1/2 cup light corn syrup, divided

7 ozs. bittersweet or semisweet chocolate, broken into pieces

Melt white chocolate in top of double boiler over gently simmering water; stir until smooth.  Stir in 1/4 cup corn syrup.  Pour onto baking sheet.  Chill until firm, 30 to 40 minutes.

Transfer white chocolate to work surface and knead several minutes.  Shape white chocolate dough into ball.  Wrap in plastic.  Let white chocolate dough stand at room temperature 1 hour.

Repeat with bittersweet chocolate and 1/4 cup corn syrup.

Cut white chocolate dough into 4 pieces.  Flatten 1 piece into rectangle.  Turn pasta machine to widest setting.  Run chocolate through 3 times, folding into thirds before each run.  Adjust machine to next narrower setting.  Run chocolate through machine without folding.  If chocolate is more than 1/16" thick, run through next narrower setting.  Lay chocolate piece on rimless baking sheet.  Repeat flattening, folding, and rolling with remaining chocolate pieces.  Repeat process with bittersweet chocolate dough.

There are more directions, but I will spare you.  If you really want to attempt the ribbons, buy the magazine.

My tips to help things go smoother:

1)  The cake itself is not too difficult, use good pans like the aluminum magic line ones I have.  Spray them with no stick spray and put parchment rounds inside.

2)  Make sure you don't over beat your whites or they will break, you want them to look like this.

3)  The buttercream is not for newbies, it's a serious sticky mess and you will have to boil your pans afterwards.  Don't cook the sugar too long or you will have caramel.

4)  Before you frost, you need to put the first layer of the cake on a cake round, such as the one below, or it will be impossible to move the cake for the rest of the steps.  I'm showing you 10" ones, but use 9" inch ones if you are using a 9" pan.  Or you can cut them down.

5)  Make sure and chill the cake thoroughly before attempting ganache.  Put the cake on a wire rack over a pan to catch all the chocolate that will run off.  Sorry for the bad picture, it was getting late, and I was getting irritated.

6)  If you don't have a pasta roller like I do; don't even attempt the ribbons.  The chocolate per directions, wasn't near pliable enough.  Not wanting to waste all the chocolate, I salvaged enough to cut out these cute little hearts.  I brushed them with a little gold pearl dust for a little shine.

It better taste darn good, to make up for all the work it was!

Serves 8.

Enjoy,

Gina